E73 How Birthdays Change as We Get Older

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[00:00:00.160] - Oliver (Host)

Welcome back to English and Beyond, the advanced version of the podcast. My name is Oliver. This is (César). And we are teachers. If you find anything difficult in the podcast to understand, then there is a free transcript and vocabulary flashcards and vocab trainers to help you practise that vocabulary available  morethanalanguage.com.

[00:00:21.040] - César (Guest)

So we're going to go to a birthday party after recording this episode. It's a surprise birthday party, by the way.

[00:00:28.000] - Oliver (Host)

No, I did not know that. Okay. Fine. It is a birthday party for your uncle.

[00:00:31.980] - César (Guest)

Yeah, I'm glad you didn't call my uncle to say, what time is the party again?

[00:00:36.620] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, exactly. Looking forward to seeing you.

[00:00:39.500] - César (Guest)

He's turning 60.

[00:00:41.500] - Oliver (Host)

Okay, cool.

[00:00:42.460] - César (Guest)

And so yeah, it's a good thing to celebrate, right? They always say that turning or getting older is a good thing, considering the alternative.

[00:00:52.140] - Oliver (Host)

It's a privilege, yeah. Yeah. Do you like, well speaking of that, do you like birthdays? Do you like getting older?

[00:00:58.840] - César (Guest)

So, I mean, do I like getting older? Of course. Because the alternative would be dying. Yeah. Birthdays. I used to love birthdays. I used to love birthdays when I was a kid.

[00:01:12.360] - Oliver (Host)

Okay, fine. So when you were an actual child.

[00:01:14.520] - César (Guest)

Yeah. Even though I've never liked being on the spotlight.

[00:01:19.200] - Oliver (Host)

Did you have - being, being in the spotlight or being under the spotlight - did you have big birthday parties when you were little? (Yeah.) Okay.

[00:01:27.810] - César (Guest)

Because I come from a very big family. So I had birthdays at the school, then with my, the mom's side of my family, then with my father's side of the family.

[00:01:40.970] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. Okay. And were they mostly family affairs or was it kind of a mixture of, like, friends and family as well?

[00:01:47.210] - César (Guest)

Friends and family. Okay. And, yeah, I had really good birthday parties. My first, My first birthday party was at McDonald's.

[00:01:56.800] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:01:57.400] - César (Guest)

Yeah.

[00:01:58.000] - Oliver (Host)

Actually, I think you made me take a photo of you at that McDonald's. Yeah.

[00:02:01.280] - César (Guest)

Because I actually started walking in that McDonald's.

[00:02:05.800] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:02:06.200] - César (Guest)

During my birthday party.

[00:02:08.560] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:02:08.960] - César (Guest)

And, there's, like, there are records of that, so.

[00:02:11.600] - Oliver (Host)

Okay, fine. And were your birthday parties generally in McDonald's?

[00:02:15.520] - César (Guest)

Some of them, yeah. It was. I mean it was -

[00:02:17.920] - Oliver (Host)

Sponsored by McDonald's.

[00:02:20.240] - César (Guest)

Isn't it the case in the UK that you have birthday parties in McDonald's?

[00:02:23.800] - Oliver (Host)

Some people might.

[00:02:24.400] - César (Guest)

It was very common in the North East at least.

[00:02:27.260] - Oliver (Host)

Okay. So when I was little, there were where I was growing up, not in my town, but kind of like a drivable distance. I would say when I was growing up, there were like kind of three standard birthday parties, maybe four: cinema, always great, great birthday party, bowling, also popular. And then where I was growing up or near where I grew up in the same, I guess it was probably either the same county or the adjacent county.

[00:02:52.860] - César (Guest)

Playing polo.

[00:02:54.760] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, exactly. Polo being the very posh sport with the horses. I have never played polo, obviously. I can't even ride a horse. I rode a horse once in Cuba and it was probably the worst experience of my life. I'm gonna cut that out. So in addition to the bowling and the cinema, we also in the area where I lived, there was something called Activity World and also Aqua Splash. Aqua Splash was a water slide kind of like mini park. It was not very big, but it was amazing. And in the way that, like, it's very 90s, early noughties that now you couldn't have - these rides were definitely just quite dangerous. Like, there was one called Space Bowl where it was a very long, tall, thin slide, and then at the end, it just throws you out into the bowl and you kind of, like, circle the drain and then fall down, but every single time, every single time you went down, you hit your head, you smashed your head about, and it was actually quite painful, but because you're an idiot child, it's just quite fun and you do it anyway. And it's kind of that fear mixed with the adrenaline. Maybe this says something about my psychology, I don't know, but I would always be like, I don't wanna go down, but I would force myself to go down.

[00:04:11.480] - César (Guest)

Yeah, well, it's understandable as a child.

[00:04:13.680] - Oliver (Host)

Aqua Splash was amazing.

[00:04:14.840] - César (Guest)

Was it an indoors place?

[00:04:17.200] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, it was indoors. Yeah, it's the UK, right? So totally indoors. And then Activity World had something, I mean, this is the most ridiculous thing to talk about, but it has something called the Spider's Web, where it was like, I don't know, like two or three storeys of building, right? And it was just lots of interconnected bands of elastic as if it were a spider's web, right? And you would throw yourself off the top, and then you just kind of fall your way down through it, if that makes sense.

[00:04:46.500] - César (Guest)

That sounds quite fun.

[00:04:46.720] - Oliver (Host)

It was really fun.

[00:04:47.460] - César (Guest)

I would do it now.

[00:04:48.740] - Oliver (Host)

Well, so when we were doing it, you'd have like a kid's birthday party, and you'd see the next group waiting in the kind of the glass reception to be able to come in once you'd finished your time. And half the time it was children, and the other half of the time it was kind of like Marines doing, or like, you know, a group of adults doing their kind of away day.

[00:05:08.200] - César (Guest)

As a training?

[00:05:09.360] - Oliver (Host)

Well, I think it was just like a kind of a fun, it was quite a physical thing. So obviously appeals to children, but it also appeals to quite fit adults. Like, I'm not sure I would have the flexibility to do the things that we were doing. They were like giant hamster wheels that you could run in like a hamster, right? And you'd go the whole way around. And again, very dangerous, really, in the sense that there was a very, very lax attitude to health and safety.

[00:05:30.220] - César (Guest)

Health and safety wasn't a thing.

[00:05:31.620] - Oliver (Host)

It didn't exist. But it was fun. It was a lot of fun.

[00:05:33.980] - César (Guest)

Our equivalent for that would be something called a place called Camelot.

[00:05:39.100] - Oliver (Host)

Camelot. Okay. What themed like Camelot themed, Britain themed? Okay. Interesting. So, you know, that was that that is the the joy of birthday parties. But then I think that the big fear I stopped having birthday parties at like 12, 13.

[00:05:54.520] - César (Guest)

Because it wasn't cool anymore.

[00:05:56.040] - Oliver (Host)

No, not at all. It was probably genuinely part of it was that I was worried that people wouldn't come. And I think that is a fear that you have when you're a child, right?

[00:06:05.880] - César (Guest)

When you are an adult.

[00:06:06.840] - Oliver (Host)

Or when you're an adult, the nightmare of having a birthday party and people just not turning up.

[00:06:12.560] - César (Guest)

Yeah. And it's always slightly complicated as well. Like, I think my mum used to invite basically the whole class. She was like, don't pick up, you know.

[00:06:21.540] - Oliver (Host)

Don't pick on.

[00:06:23.100] - César (Guest)

Don't pick on.

[00:06:23.940] - Oliver (Host)

Are you saying like, don't bully?

[00:06:25.260] - César (Guest)

No, no, no, no. Like, don't pick up just 20 people out of 25.

[00:06:29.420] - Oliver (Host)

Okay, so like, don't pick out 20.

[00:06:31.180] - César (Guest)

Yeah, like, let's invite 25 people, the whole class.

[00:06:34.700] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah.

[00:06:35.260] - César (Guest)

Instead of choosing and leaving behind a few people.

[00:06:38.540] - Oliver (Host)

Well, of course, I'm a bit, I mean, I'm staggered by how many parents allow their children to do that. Because I think it is quite cruel to leave out one or two children. I mean, and I understand, I do understand that the children, it's their birthday, they might not want certain people, but I think that it is so negatively impactful for the children that are left out that, you know, speaking as a child, that's a child, speaking as a teacher.

[00:07:04.360] - César (Guest)

Yeah. And what about as an adult? Do you like celebrating your birthday?

[00:07:10.850] - Oliver (Host)

I'm trying to remember the last time I had any sort of like celebration for it. I, you know, when we were in London once, I guess, I don't know where we were living because we weren't living abroad. It must have been, it must have been when I was living in Germany still.

[00:07:27.570] - César (Guest)

I don't recall any birthday party.

[00:07:29.730] - Oliver (Host)

We went for, it wasn't a, it wasn't, it wasn't a party, but we went out for dinner. With other people. With other people, yeah, not just us. We went out for dinner. There were like five or six of us and then we went to a club. But that, that is as much of a birthday party as I think I've had in the last however many years.

[00:07:46.710] - César (Guest)

Would you like to have, and I will need to remember this. Would you, would you like to have a surprise birthday party?

[00:07:56.550] - Oliver (Host)

I don't know. I want to say no because I don't generally like surprises that much. But I'm sure if you did it and you did it really well, which you would, I'd be really, really pleased. But, I mean, it would be quite tough now, no, because my family lives all over the world. None of us actually live in the same country.

[00:08:17.510] - César (Guest)

Yeah, it would be a challenge.

[00:08:21.110] - Oliver (Host)

It would be very costly. Yeah, it would be a very costly birthday party for some people coming from Australia for a dinner. Yeah. No, but I think that I think it is fun. What about gifts?

[00:08:33.510] - César (Guest)

Do I like gifts?

[00:08:34.550] - Oliver (Host)

Do you like getting gifts at birthdays? Do you like giving gifts?

[00:08:37.230] - César (Guest)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, both. Both. I think it's more difficult when you are an adult as well, right?

[00:08:45.460] - Oliver (Host)

To give and receive gifts. Yeah. Well, yeah, I suppose so, yeah.

[00:08:48.980] - César (Guest)

My sister does something that I really like, which is basically she creates a box for her friends with like very little gifts, like from a chocolate bar that that person really likes.

[00:09:01.820] - Oliver (Host)

A half used lip balm.

[00:09:02.900] - César (Guest)

A half used what?

[00:09:05.020] - Oliver (Host)

Lip balm.

[00:09:06.020] - César (Guest)

Exactly. Yeah. Some photographs. It's really cool. And I did something similar when she turned 18.

[00:09:13.440] - Oliver (Host)

For her.

[00:09:14.000] - César (Guest)

Yeah, for her. Yeah. And I remember the thing that she liked the most was the, her birthday card with 18 suggestions for life from me.

[00:09:23.200] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:09:24.480] - César (Guest)

So I think when it's, you know, thoughtful, present, thoughtful gift, even if it's not expensive or anything, it's really cool.

[00:09:33.440] - Oliver (Host)

I think what your sister, I think she's quite interesting in this regard because I mean, I've never seen someone so excited to get gifts screaming -

[00:09:41.460] - César (Guest)

Or receive gifts.

[00:09:42.940] - Oliver (Host)

To get gifts, I'm saying.

[00:09:43.860] - César (Guest)

Ah, to get, sorry.

[00:09:44.460] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:44.880] - César (Guest)

I said you said you - to give.

[00:09:46.220] - Oliver (Host)

Screaming. Although also, you're right. Very excited to give them as well, but kind of like, just so excited.

[00:09:53.020] - César (Guest)

She's extra.

[00:09:53.980] - Oliver (Host)

And I think that in a way, it's kind of, I think it's very endearing because, for example, you gave her for Christmas this year. No, Christmas. Was it? You gave her.

[00:10:05.140] - César (Guest)

The Three Wise Kings.

[00:10:06.500] - Oliver (Host)

Well, no, you've just given her. Basically, you've bought yourself a new phone.

[00:10:09.700] - César (Guest)

Yeah.

[00:10:10.100] - Oliver (Host)

And you've just given her your old phone.

[00:10:11.860] - César (Guest)

Yeah.

[00:10:12.420] - Oliver (Host)

She is so grateful and happy and delighted by this gift.

[00:10:18.020] - César (Guest)

Talking about gifts, my birthday was very recent and you gave me a really thoughtful gift.

[00:10:24.900] - Oliver (Host)

I hate giving gifts because I, I - I feel like in my family, we generally don't give them. Like, we all agreed to stop giving gifts, you know, like a decade ago. So I'm very out of practise, and I find it really hard to work out. I mean, the thing is that nowadays I wouldn't buy anything for my family, my siblings, because what do they want that they don't already have? What can I give them that they can't get themselves? And that's how I feel about -

[00:10:51.810] - César (Guest)

Something that they don't know they need.

[00:10:53.530] - Oliver (Host)

Exactly. And that requires a lot of thought and possible errors and, and everything. So we just generally basically don't do it. So for you, because you'd gotten me a nice gift (for Christmas) for Christmas, I felt like I needed to. Well, I didn't. I, I struggled. I really struggled. It wasn't, you know, this is a bit embarrassing that you'll bring this up, but go on then.

[00:11:16.400] - César (Guest)

What, what is the thing that I gave to you for Christmas? Because I don't know how to say it in English.

[00:11:20.840] - Oliver (Host)

A vinyl record player.

[00:11:22.640] - César (Guest)

A vinyl record player.

[00:11:24.080] - Oliver (Host)

So you, someone will correct my pronunciation.

[00:11:26.640] - César (Guest)

So you bought for me. For my birthday. A vinyl.

[00:11:30.050] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah.

[00:11:31.690] - César (Guest)

And it was the first album and only album? No, the first album out of three.

[00:11:36.250] - Oliver (Host)

Of three. Yeah.

[00:11:36.890] - César (Guest)

Of the Spice Girls.

[00:11:38.090] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. Which is, you know, a possibly weird one, but I did. I asked you, I basically, a few weeks before, created a fake conversation to ask you what your kind of, like, most impactful album as a child had been. Yeah. And you said the Spice Girls.

[00:11:54.170] - César (Guest)

Yeah, because I had the cassette. And everyone was obsessed with the Spice Girls, even in Spain, I think, everywhere in the world. So, yeah, I'm really happy to have the vinyl.

[00:12:06.110] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah.

[00:12:06.550] - César (Guest)

I have now the cassette, the CD and the vinyl.

[00:12:10.190] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:12:10.750] - César (Guest)

Well, I'm not even a big fan of the Spice Girls.

[00:12:13.310] - Oliver (Host)

Well, I mean, I think that, you know, it's, it's. My sister used to play obsessively, actually. Yeah. And, and so I. I thought it was like a nice thing to get you because we both like them.

[00:12:27.840] - César (Guest)

No, no, I like them. And they're British, we got married in front of the hotel. In a place overlooking the hotel where their first single was, video clip was filmed.

[00:12:41.280] - Oliver (Host)

I mean, this reminds me that I'm actually very bad at giving gifts because I remember that my sister quite liked Britney Spears and we already had the album, right? And I bought her one of the singles from the album for Christmas. It's like, what a waste of time gift. She was very gracious. But like, what's the point of that? Well, some people, I suppose they have B-sides.

[00:13:03.790] - César (Guest)

And some people who really like the artist, they like to look at Swifties. They buy every single different alternative options.

[00:13:11.710] - Oliver (Host)

So I was just ahead of my time. Yeah. How do you feel about birthday parties when you're invited but you don't really want to go? Do you want to go to your uncle's birthday party today? He doesn't speak English so it's fine.

[00:13:22.570] - César (Guest)

No, I do like him, so. Yes, I do want to go.

[00:13:26.090] - Oliver (Host)

I mean, sometimes it's not about how much you like that person, though, right? Sometimes it's not about how much you like that person.

[00:13:32.290] - César (Guest)

Yeah, sometimes it's about money, you know, because, I mean, in this case, it's like a normal restaurant. It's actually the restaurant of the gym centre of the town where they live, so it's not very expensive, but sometimes if you get. Invited to a place where you have to travel, you have to pay a lot of money for, you know, that lunch, that dinner, or you have to. You are invited to participate in the present. And sometimes it can be quite "cost-y".

[00:14:00.020] - Oliver (Host)

Right.

[00:14:00.500] - César (Guest)

The whole experience.

[00:14:01.380] - Oliver (Host)

Costly.

[00:14:02.100] - César (Guest)

Costy?

[00:14:02.820] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. No, (costly?) costly.

[00:14:05.060] - César (Guest)

Okay, so I can't recall a moment where I said, oh, I don't want to go to this birthday party. I think it's worse for weddings. Yeah, because they're more formal. I think with birthday parties it's easy to bail out.

[00:14:17.830] - Oliver (Host)

And they're often very far away, especially if you've got like friends all over the world.

[00:14:22.830] - César (Guest)

Exactly.

[00:14:23.390] - Oliver (Host)

There have been weddings I've wanted to go to but when you actually look at the price it's just impossible. Yeah, okay. And finally César, birthdays obviously, birthdays and birthday parties, commemorate being another year older. You said that you're fine with being with getting older. Do you think that that will always be the case?

[00:14:42.740] - César (Guest)

I hope so, yeah. I mean again the alternative is dying so I think I'm you know, I'm quite happy with ageing and turning (getting) older. So are you ready for this party? It's gonna be a lot of Spanish.

[00:15:00.100] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, of course.

[00:15:00.740] - César (Guest)

Everyone is gonna speak to you, many people at the same time.

[00:15:05.540] - Oliver (Host)

Well, I mean (As always loud.), yeah, I mean, Spanish birthday, Spanish gatherings of people in general are loud.

[00:15:14.710] - César (Guest)

And particularly in my family.

[00:15:16.510] - Oliver (Host)

Particularly in your family, the greeting and saying goodbye to every single person takes a while and is quite overwhelming, like the whole thing. But, you know, obviously there's lots of positives to that as well. And your family is incredibly positive and incredibly nice. And I really like this uncle and I really like his immediate family. Like his wife and his children are so nice. So, yeah, I'm excited to go and spend the time with them.

[00:15:39.470] - César (Guest)

Okay, let's go then.

[00:15:40.990] - Oliver (Host)

Okay, thank you very much for listening, listener, and we'll see you next time.