E54 Do We Love Our Pets Too Much?

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[00:00:02.380] - Oliver (Host)

Why are humans so devoted to pets? We spend billions every year on their food, toys, and medical bills. We let them curl up on our sofas, sometimes even in our beds. We give them names. We celebrate their birthdays. And when they die, many of us grieve as deeply as if we had lost a relative. In some families, the dog or cat is not just a companion. It's treated like another child. And yet, they're not human. They can't speak our language. They don't share our culture. Their lives are heartbreakingly short compared to ours. So why do we choose to bring animals into our homes knowing from the very beginning that our relationship with them will end in loss. That paradox of joy, and inevitable heartbreak, is at the centre of pet ownership, and is what we'll be exploring in this episode.

[00:00:59.040] - Oliver (Host)

Welcome back to English and Beyond, a podcast for advanced English learners who want to go beyond grammar exercises and listen to natural, thoughtful conversations, usually about topics that are a little bit weird. I'm Oliver, an English and Spanish teacher from the UK. As always, you'll find the transcript and vocabulary flashcards for this episode at www.morethanalanguage.com.

[00:01:22.960] - Oliver (Host)

The bond between humans and animals is ancient. Archaeological evidence suggests that dogs were domesticated from wolves at least 15,000 years ago, perhaps even earlier. And at first, their role was entirely practical. They helped with hunting, offered protection, and they provided companionship around the fire. Cats entered human households in ancient Egypt, prized for keeping grain stores free of mice and rats. But over time, these relationships shifted. Animals that once had strictly functional roles became loved in their own right. Arqueologists have discovered graves in which dogs and cats were buried alongside humans, sometimes even with small offerings, showing that people mourned them not just as helpers, but as friends. Today, pets are a global phenomenon. In Europe, almost half of households have at least one pet. In the United States, the figure is closer to two-thirds. And in countries like Brazil or Argentina, dog ownership is even more common than in most of Europe. This universality suggests that the human desire for animal companionship is not a cultural accident, but a fundamental part of how we live.

[00:02:38.000] - Oliver (Host)

That said, different cultures do show different preferences. In the UK, cats slightly outnumber dogs, but in Spain, it's the opposite. Dogs dominate. Some of this can be explained by climate and lifestyle. In Southern Europe, with its long evenings and more time spent outdoors, dogs fit naturally into daily routines. In northern countries, with colder and wetter weather, cats may seem more practical. And then there are other choices, which are often shaped by tradition or geography. In parts of South America, parrots and exotic birds are popular. In Japan, keeping fish or even insects is surprisingly common. In many Western countries, small mammals like rabbits, guinea pigs, or hamsters, are seen as starter pets for children. And increasingly, people are experimenting with less traditional companions: lizards, snakes, miniature pigs. Sometimes these choices are cultural, sometimes they're personal, and sometimes they're simply dictated by what's possible in the flat you rent or the building where you live. Of course, pet ownership is not only about joy. It requires time, money, and emotional energy. Dogs need walking several times a day in all weather. House cats require litter boxes cleaned regularly. Every animal, small, large or small, needs food, medical care, and attention. Vet bills can be unexpectedly high, and some breeds, pugs are the classic example, have been bred for their appearance in ways that actually harm their health.

[00:04:14.700] - Oliver (Host)

Then there's the problem of our freedom. If you want to travel, you need to arrange care for your pet. If you live in rented accommodation, you may not even be allowed one. And if you do go ahead and get yourself a pet, the responsibility doesn't end after a few months. Pets can live for years, sometimes decades. A tortoise, for example, might even outlive you. And then that is the hardest part, mortality. Pets almost never outlive their owners. With a dog or a cat, you witness the entire arc of life, from playful beginnings through steady adulthood to inevitable decline. It's profoundly moving, sometimes devastating, but also deeply instructive. For many children, their first encounter with death comes through the loss of a pet. And for adults, watching an animal age alongside you can be a powerful, if painful, reminder of your own fragility. So in this episode, César and I are going to reflect on our own experiences, the pets you grew up with, the ones we adored, the ones that ran away. I ask you, listener, the most difficult question of all: with all the expense, the time, the commitment, and the inevitable heartbreak, why do we keep pets at all?

[00:05:34.440] - Oliver (Host)

So this, listener, is actually our third attempt to find a topic today, and the situation is getting more and more desperate. So hopefully, this will be... Hopefully, if you see this, if you're watching this, or if you're listening to this, this means that we were at least moderately successful. And although I will be up all night editing this video, at least there is a video to edit.

[00:05:59.060] - César (Guest)

And if you're watching this or listening to this, please subscribe, click the subscribe button or the follow button. Because many people listen or watch, but don't click on the button, and it's very important for us. Thank you, gracias.

[00:06:13.640] - Oliver (Host)

After our failed episode, about arguments and then feet, here is our episode on pets. So, César, we don't currently have a pet. Would you like to get one?

[00:06:30.220] - César (Guest)

In the future, maybe. I think now we are very busy. We're in a stage in our life that we cannot really afford to have a pet.

[00:06:42.360] - Oliver (Host)

Well, they're expensive, aren't they?

[00:06:43.800] - César (Guest)

Financially and also in terms of, you know, going on holidays, time. We don't even own, we don't even live in a flat that we own at the moment. I think it's complex. I mean, we couldn't live here in this flat we're renting with a pet, for example.

[00:07:00.000] - Oliver (Host)

Because it would be against the rules?

[00:07:01.270] - César (Guest)

Exactly.

[00:07:01.790] - Oliver (Host)

Do people just break the rules in Spain or are there lots of flats that would allow pets?

[00:07:06.660] - César (Guest)

I actually don't have, I don't know. It'd be really difficult for us to break the rules since the whole building is owned by the same person.

[00:07:15.750] - Oliver (Host)

The one family, several members of which live in the building.

[00:07:20.140] - César (Guest)

Yeah, exactly.

[00:07:21.440] - Oliver (Host)

That is true. But if you were to get a pet, what would it be?

[00:07:26.040] - César (Guest)

A dog.

[00:07:26.900] - Oliver (Host)

A dog?

[00:07:27.470] - César (Guest)

Yeah, I'm Spanish.

[00:07:28.890] - Oliver (Host)

Does Spanish people not have other -

[00:07:31.110] - César (Guest)

Spanish people love dogs.

[00:07:32.680] - Oliver (Host)

Okay.

[00:07:33.150] - César (Guest)

I actually did a research on this when I was studying at the University in London. It was like an essay on pet food and things like that. In the UK, people tend to have more cats than dogs. In Spain, it's the opposite.

[00:07:54.100] - Oliver (Host)

I'm really surprised.

[00:07:54.460] - César (Guest)

I think it's related to the weather. It makes sense, right? Because you don't need to walk walk your cat, but you need to walk the dog every, like three times per day.

[00:08:04.800] - Oliver (Host)

I also think, and this is not totally the case, but I think there are lots more people in the UK that have, that live in houses rather than building rather than the flats. And I think that a result of that is that there are lots more people, many more people have gardens or they live somewhat more in the countryside, and so they can open the door, the cat - the window, whatever - there's a cat flap, and the cat can go out and live its life outside. But although I'm sure there are lots of very happy house cats that never leave the house, I would feel a bit bad.

[00:08:38.650] - César (Guest)

But that's the case for most cats that live in Spain.

[00:08:41.480] - Oliver (Host)

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, that in the UK, lots of cats actually have a free range life.

[00:08:46.240] - César (Guest)

In fact, I told you so many times when I saw cats that belong to our friends, and I'm surprised that the cat can just leave the house and then come back.

[00:08:58.700] - Oliver (Host)

Even in the middle of London?

[00:09:00.000] - César (Guest)

Yeah. I was really surprised about that.

[00:09:03.920] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. Well, I mean, we had cats and dogs when I was growing up, and the cats spent their entire lives basically outside of the house.

[00:09:09.690] - César (Guest)

Did they fall out?

[00:09:12.020] - Oliver (Host)

What do you mean did they fall out?

[00:09:13.420] - César (Guest)

Fall out. Did they argue? Did they have fights?

[00:09:16.700] - Oliver (Host)

The cats?

[00:09:17.660] - César (Guest)

The cats and the dogs?

[00:09:20.160] - Oliver (Host)

No, not really.

[00:09:21.240] - César (Guest)

I mean, it's very common. We have a saying in Spanish, to be like a dog and a cat. When you fall out with someone.

[00:09:28.280] - Oliver (Host)

We have a similar expression in English as well, but no, I mean...

[00:09:31.210] - César (Guest)

Why were you so surprised about my question?

[00:09:32.940] - Oliver (Host)

Well, because I think... Because we had a never-ending parade of different cats and dogs, and in reality, it was never a problem. So maybe it is a problem for other people, but in reality, I've never actually-

[00:09:44.900] - Oliver (Host)

So they got along well.

[00:09:46.020] - Oliver (Host)

Always.

[00:09:46.510] - César (Guest)

They liked each other. Weird. Interesting.

[00:09:49.980] - Oliver (Host)

The reason I was surprised is because I thought it was quite a specific and interested question in the relationship between all of these animals that have been dead for a long time.

[00:10:00.000] - César (Guest)

What was the name of your favourite pet and what it was? What was it?

[00:10:03.410] - Oliver (Host)

My favourite pet, I mean, you're not supposed to have favourites, obviously, but my favourite pet ever was...

[00:10:09.710] - César (Guest)

The cat.

[00:10:10.580] - Oliver (Host)

Was my cat, a cat that I bought when I was 11. He wasn't really bought for me, but it was around the time of my birthday. And he was a very, very, very unusual cat. I'll put on the video some pictures of the cat that he was. He was Cornish Rex. He was called Draco. They have very weird hair. It's kind of like very wavy, but very close to the body. And so people would recoil when they met him.

[00:10:40.100] - César (Guest)

Recoil?

[00:10:41.320] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, pull back in horror. And if you saw him kind of running around in dusk, at the dusk, semi-darkness, people would think he was like a giant rat. And I thought that was quite cool. He was such a friendly cat as well, because I think with cats, sometimes they're really friendly, sometimes they're independent and aloof, haughty. And Draco was incredibly friendly, like a little dog. If you threw something for him, like a little ball or a stick, he would get it and bring it back. You know, he wanted to play with you. And once on New Year's Eve, I was laying down playing with him, and this was not his friendliest moment, but he scratched me across the face. And I remember, Are you crying?

[00:11:27.940] - César (Guest)

Sorry. I'm getting a bit emotional because you're telling your story and I'm paying attention to the story.

[00:11:35.410] - Oliver (Host)

I'm not emotional.

[00:11:35.780] - César (Guest)

So I'm thinking of you being little with that cat that now is dead, and now it's just got to be emotional.

[00:11:41.350] - Oliver (Host)

Okay. So he scratched me across the entire face. And I remember in years, I had to go to a New Year's party with my family. Yeah, with my family. And I had this really great cool scratch across the face that luckily did heal. I'm sure at the age of 36, I wouldn't think it was so cool if I still had this scratch across the entirety of my face, but at the time, I thought it was really cool.

[00:12:05.300] - César (Guest)

No matter what Draco did, you would find it amazing.

[00:12:09.220] - Oliver (Host)

Oh, God, that makes me sound like my dad with my little brother. Whereas Salem, who was his sister, Salem.

[00:12:18.770] - César (Guest)

Salem.

[00:12:19.410] - Oliver (Host)

Like the city where they executed all the witches. Salem, she was his sister. Salem ended up running away as far as I'm aware.

[00:12:28.180] - César (Guest)

That's devastating.

[00:12:30.000] - Oliver (Host)

The opposite thing, the opposite relationship took place where Draco was very nice to me, and Salem used to pee on my bed constantly.

[00:12:38.040] - César (Guest)

Is that a way to mark their territory or something?

[00:12:40.960] - Oliver (Host)

I think so. But yeah, I think that the cats were great in general. Dogs, I think, are too needy.

[00:12:50.980] - César (Guest)

Well, yeah, they're less independent. I don't have many experiences. I had a dog once when I was nine. It was a present for my first communion. I'm a Catholic, so my uncle gave me this dog, and he brought it when I was eight, nine, and the dog was very small. It was a puppy, and he was a surprise. When I saw him in my room, so little... It was a Shar Pei, this one's with a lot of wrinkles.

[00:13:20.180] - Oliver (Host)

A lot of folds of skin.

[00:13:21.540] - César (Guest)

Yeah, but it was like mixed race. It wasn't the real breed.

[00:13:26.840] - Oliver (Host)

He was a mongrel.

[00:13:28.840] - César (Guest)

Mongrel?

[00:13:30.000] - Oliver (Host)

Mongrel.

[00:13:30.440] - César (Guest)

Mongrel, okay. When I saw him, I can recall vividly that memory of opening the door and seeing him and asking my mum, But is this for me? Yeah, he ran away. Yeah, and it was very sad.

[00:13:50.660] - Oliver (Host)

How did he escape?

[00:13:52.300] - César (Guest)

He was in a house with my uncles.

[00:13:54.460] - Oliver (Host)

Oh, in the countryside?

[00:13:56.640] - César (Guest)

In the countryside, and he ran away.

[00:13:58.980] - Oliver (Host)

I mean, because this is sometimes like a euphemism that older generations use for children. Do you think he actually ran away or do you think that, you know, they gave him away or he was put down for some reason, put down is a euphemism that we use for killing an animal.

[00:14:14.370] - César (Guest)

I think he ran away.

[00:14:15.480] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah. Okay. Well, hopefully he's living well and free in the wild countryside of Valencia.

[00:14:24.300] - César (Guest)

I mean, that was like 25 years ago, so I don't think so.

[00:14:30.000] - Oliver (Host)

Well, who knows?

[00:14:30.700] - César (Guest)

He'll be with Draco.

[00:14:33.880] - Oliver (Host)

Well, actually talking about death, I think that's quite an interesting segue because I think that this is the reality of pets. I think that pets are, for so many people, completely a member of the family. And I think lots of humans actually prefer the company of pets.

[00:14:52.420] - César (Guest)

Many people say, I prefer, I love my dog more than my father.

[00:14:58.960] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, well, exactly. I mean, dogs don't talk back, and they love you unconditionally because you feed them, and they are very sweet most of the time, aren't they? My mum has had three pugs, and she bought the first pug, and then only then did she realise what, like, horrendous medical problems they have. So since then, she has not bought anymore. And instead, she basically adopts other pugs that other families basically say that they can't look after. They don't have the means to look after them, or they don't have the time because they're so intensive when it comes to like medical problems. They're so time...They consume so much time. And she has had these three pugs and basically has the third one now, the only one that's still alive, isn't long for this world. My mum thinks that he'll be dead by Christmas. And every time she's devastated. I think that's the funny thing about pets, that because pets don't really, almost never, unless you get a tortoise, I suppose, then they're never going to outlive you unless you buy them extremely late in your life. You kind of go through the devastation of raising something from being a tiny little baby through to its last steps, which I find kind of profound, actually, and also kind of awful.

[00:16:37.840] - César (Guest)

I've never experienced that. But now that you put it away, sure. In a way, it's a good reminder of what happens to people as well. I think it's good for children to experience that as well. You, as a child, probably have experienced the death of different animals.

[00:16:56.860] - Oliver (Host)

Yeah, I did because when I was little, we had two dogs and a cat. It meant that I did actually see these animals die. And it is really, really sad. I remember when I was... Because I'd moved out of home and obviously couldn't and didn't take Draco with me. He was going to be much happier where I grew up than in central London. And it was so sad, actually, to see him, not just the last time I saw him, but just to see him getting older and older. I think that if you are an older person with pets like my parents are, then I think also there's an additional level of sadness. You know, for example, you might be an older person with a hip problem, and then a lot of dogs also end up with hip problems, leg problems. You're kind of...

[00:17:49.560] - César (Guest)

Humans get replacements, dogs don't, right?

[00:17:51.680] - Oliver (Host)

Like, I assume not, but I suppose there are some rudimentary replacements. One of my mom's pugs had a little wheelchair when his legs stopped working. But basically, you sometimes get really totally confronted by exactly what is ailing you, exactly what is troubling you physically. I think that that must be quite an interesting thing to go through.

[00:18:11.800] - César (Guest)

Yeah.

[00:18:12.920] - Oliver (Host)

But I thought you were going to talk more, because we're coming to the end of the episode, and I thought we were going to talk more about the realities of having a pet rather than the life or death.

[00:18:21.920] - César (Guest)

I think nowadays it's very costly. Some breeds have more problems than others. You mentioned pugs. That's why probably many parents, when their child begs them for a pet, they just get a turtle or a little goldfish. That's what happened to me for many, many years. I have so many little tiny pets like that.

[00:18:49.740] - Oliver (Host)

Well, I think that hamsters, part of the reason they do it is because they don't believe that you'll actually ever look after - I mean, all children promise that they will walk the dog every day, and then when the dog comes, they're not going to walk it.

[00:19:01.520] - César (Guest)

It's not realistic to walk the dog if you're a child three times a day because you cannot walk the dog at 9: 00 PM in winter.

[00:19:09.770] - Oliver (Host)

But I think children often, unsurprisingly, promise a lot and do the bare minimum. So I think we can leave it there, can't we, César? Okay. Well, thank you very much, listener, for listening. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed this episode more than the one that you would have listened to about feet.

[00:19:25.380] - César (Guest)

That's my opinion.

[00:19:27.380] - Oliver (Host)

Thank you for listening, listener, and see you next time. Bye-bye.