Transcript + vocabulary list + exercise:
[00:00:00.000] - Oliver (Host)
Welcome back to another episode of English and Beyond. As always, the transcript is available online at www.morethanalanguage.com. And this might be another episode in which you find it useful because some of the phrases, some of the words, some of the vocabulary that we use in this episode are particularly challenging, in my opinion. In this episode, I'm going to be talking to my father, who is in his 80s. And I must say that during the episode, I sometimes forgot to do what I normally try to do, what I endeavour to do, which is to use multiple words with very similar meanings - we can call them synonyms - so that you can understand an unusual or a difficult word by its context. And in this episode, I don't think I achieved that particularly well. I also need to give you a little bit of background to this episode so that you can understand exactly what is going on.
[00:01:04.140] - Oliver (Host)
My parents are separated. That means that they are no longer together in a romantic relationship. But crucially, they are not divorced. They never actually decided to formalise the divorce, the ending of their marriage. So my parents separated when I was about 13 years old.
[00:01:22.890] - Oliver (Host)
And my dad, to cut a long story short, actually ended up moving next door, literally in in the house next to the one in which I grew up. So he was always present in our lives. There was never a moment, there was never a period where he wasn't a daily presence in our lives. And this gave me and my dad the opportunity to have almost daily arguments, which is how I spent most of my teenage years, arguing with my dad as much as I could as my own personal nemesis. And we argued about all sorts of things. We argued about politics, we argued about celebrities, we argued about everything that you can possibly imagine that a father and a son could argue about.
[00:02:07.790] - Oliver (Host)
So my parents are just separated. But, oddly, after they moved away from the hometown in which I grew up, both of them actually moved to Bristol. As you'll remember from last week's episode, my mum is from Glasgow in Scotland, but Bristol is actually my dad's hometown, that is, where he grew up, and they live almost next door to each other now. In fact, they are really good friends. They see each other almost every day. They go on holiday together. And although they're not together anymore, I would say that they probably are each other's best friend. And so that leads to the situation which we have today, where I'm recording this episode with my dad, and my mum is lying on the sofa in the background making sure that she doesn't disagree with anything that comes up in this episode.
[00:02:58.610] - Oliver (Host)
One other detail that will be helpful for you to understand, is that my dad worked in the fashion industry, in the retail industry, for the entirety of his career, more or less, which culminated, which reached a peak with him and a colleague setting up a women's fashion company. So I hope that that makes it easier for you to understand, and I hope it gives some vital context to what you're about to hear. Thank you very much.
[00:03:28.640] - Oliver (Host)
Okay, so unlike with Mum, I have absolutely no plan for this episode.
[00:03:34.130] - Dad (Guest)
Oh, right.
[00:03:34.760] - Oliver (Host)
So there's no speech. It's just a conversation.
[00:03:38.450] - Dad (Guest)
That would generally end in tears with us.
[00:03:40.810] - Oliver (Host)
It does, it does. I thought that that could be an interesting thing for someone to talk about.
[00:03:46.550] - Oliver (Host)
My brother, who lives in Australia, was saying that he disagreed with my presentation of our family life in one episode. I assumed that he meant about when I referred to our frequent family arguments.
[00:04:00.520] - Dad (Guest)
Have you done that in a previous episode?
[00:04:03.480] - Oliver (Host)
I mentioned in the previous episode, I was talking to César about his patience, and I said, "Well, he grew up in a very different household from me because he grew up in a household without arguments."
[00:04:15.560] - Dad (Guest)
Right.
[00:04:16.030] - Oliver (Host)
Whereas we, I said arguments in our household were a daily occurrence. Yeah, would you agree?
[00:04:21.930] - Dad (Guest)
Absolutely. I think it's a good thing anyway. Yeah. This discussion around the dining room.
[00:04:27.300] - Oliver (Host)
On all sorts of different topics, right? But the focus of those discussions were normally you and me.
[00:04:35.270] - Dad (Guest)
The aggro was between you and me.
[00:04:37.700] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. So I thought it might be good for us just to have a chat that will inevitably devolve into an argument.
[00:04:46.060] - Dad (Guest)
No, but now I've reached my dotage. I don't indulge in arguments so much anymore, do I?
[00:04:50.290] - Oliver (Host)
For our listeners, what does dotage mean?
[00:04:54.450] - Dad (Guest)
It means the great age I've achieved.
[00:04:55.940] - Oliver (Host)
How old are you?
[00:04:58.170] - Dad (Guest)
83.
[00:04:59.000] - Oliver (Host)
How do you feel?
[00:04:59.690] - Dad (Guest)
And a half.
[00:05:01.100] - Oliver (Host)
How do you-
[00:05:02.050] - Dad (Guest)
 Three quarters.
[00:05:03.450] - Oliver (Host)
Is it three quarters? Okay. Yeah. And how do you-
[00:05:06.640] - Dad (Guest)
I'm in decline.
[00:05:07.280] - Oliver (Host)
You're in decline?
[00:05:08.290] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:05:08.480] - Oliver (Host)
Do you know, that is something that as long as I can remember, you have talked in miserable tones about your decline.
[00:05:15.900] - Dad (Guest)
No, but it's interesting because I look at this in a detached way. It's quite interesting seeing how your powers decline. You know, as a case study, it happens to be me, but I, I'm quite interested in it.
[00:05:31.430] - Oliver (Host)
I remember you saying, actually, because you look quite a lot like me. I look like you, I should say. I remember you saying one day you looked in the mirror and you were horrified to see your father staring back at you. Obviously, that is going to happen to me as well.
[00:05:49.360] - Dad (Guest)
I think with regard to my father, it was a different approach. I was thinking of the difference in ages of ourselves and thinking, "Gosh, I'm looking like my dad, and my dad, 40 years older than me."
[00:06:03.000] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, that's what I meant. I didn't mean in terms of personality, but instead, yeah, that one day you woke up and you thought, "Oh, my God, I've physically become my father. I am old." Because you thought of your dad as old because our parents are old...
[00:06:15.980] - Dad (Guest)
I know. It's quite astonishing. When I look at photographs, I look at photographs of years ago all the time. They really fascinate me. And I'm looking at my dad when he was 40. By God, he looked old.
[00:06:31.150] - Oliver (Host)
But you know, I have a photo of you in my house when you are in your early 20s. I think you might even be younger. I think you might be 19. And I ask people to guess how old you are, and they think that you're about 40.
[00:06:43.570] - Dad (Guest)
That's amazing.
[00:06:44.760] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. Not because of your appearance, but because of the clothes and things like that, because you just look so much more grown up than even 30-year-olds look like now.
[00:06:55.140] - Dad (Guest)
Really? That's interesting. But of course, my father wore a collar and tie all his life.
[00:06:59.440] - Oliver (Host)
What, even during the weekends?
[00:07:02.190] - Dad (Guest)
Always. I've never seen a photograph of him, I don't think, without it, even on holiday, on the beach.
[00:07:09.480] - Oliver (Host)
And you are not a, you are someone who takes quite a lot of pleasure in being informal, right? So I assume that you think it's a good thing that people can be more flexible in how they dress now?
[00:07:21.230] - Dad (Guest)
Of course, yeah. I mean, you've got to remember, I did spend, I don't know, 30 years, at least, wearing a suit.
[00:07:30.420] - Oliver (Host)
While working?
[00:07:31.490] - Dad (Guest)
Yes. So when I started working for myself, that was the end of that nonsense.
[00:07:36.430] - Oliver (Host)
You ended up setting up a company. What did your employees wear? Were they formal or were they informal?
[00:07:42.080] - Dad (Guest)
We tried to create a uniform of the staff so that they can identify with the stores. If we were talking about the sales staff, as far as head office was concerned, it was totally informal.
[00:07:55.200] - Oliver (Host)
Fine. Because you had a fashion company.
[00:07:57.180] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:07:58.410] - Oliver (Host)
Which you laugh at because that's ironic, no?
[00:08:01.800] - Dad (Guest)
Well, only because I've never been the slightest interested in fashion.
[00:08:05.740] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. Well, I mean, you and I have that in common. I'm really not very interested in that thing either.
[00:08:12.770] - Dad (Guest)
That's true. When you relate yourself to your brother, it's astonishing the difference.
[00:08:18.370] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. He's definitely much more interested in...
[00:08:22.600] - Dad (Guest)
And smart wear, too.
[00:08:24.350] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. I was going to say dressing nicely, but I think that he dresses expensively. Definitely.
[00:08:28.450] - Dad (Guest)
Expensively and formally.
[00:08:30.430] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, he does. He wears a lot of collared shirts and things like that.
[00:08:33.790] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah, but I'm thinking more of waistcoats. God, when did I have a waistcoat?
[00:08:37.900] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, fair enough. Okay. So, you were born in 1940.
[00:08:44.250] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:08:44.920] - Oliver (Host)
Where were you born?
[00:08:46.550] - Dad (Guest)
"Brizzle". Bristol.
[00:08:48.530] - Oliver (Host)
Bristol, where we are now in the Southwest.
[00:08:50.970] - Dad (Guest)
About 100 yards from here.
[00:08:52.980] - Oliver (Host)
Here in Clifton?
[00:08:54.580] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:08:55.370] - Oliver (Host)
And now you've come back to Clifton?
[00:08:58.240] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:08:58.670] - Oliver (Host)
When did you move back?
[00:09:00.600] - Dad (Guest)
Eight years ago.
[00:09:01.690] - Oliver (Host)
Eight years ago. So how did it feel to come back to Bristol?
[00:09:05.170] - Dad (Guest)
Wonderful.
[00:09:06.010] - Oliver (Host)
Why wonderful?
[00:09:07.530] - Dad (Guest)
They all talk funny like me. I like the people here. Obviously, it's good for watching Bristol City and Bristol rugby, which I've watched all my life from afar.
[00:09:19.270] - Oliver (Host)
Because you have a season ticket now.
[00:09:20.810] - Dad (Guest)
So, yeah, I have a season ticket and I absolutely love it.
[00:09:25.600] - Oliver (Host)
Okay. And do you love everything about Bristol?
[00:09:29.160] - Dad (Guest)
I've just driven through Bristol from Church, which is on the other side of Bristol, and it's quite depressing.
[00:09:40.390] - Oliver (Host)
How it's changed?
[00:09:41.880] - Dad (Guest)
Well, no. Yeah. How it's deteriorated, the level of deprivation in certain parts.
[00:09:47.950] - Oliver (Host)
César was talking, César asked me whether I thought that Bristol was a rich city. And I said, I thought it used to be incredibly rich, and now it's much less rich. Now it's just average in the UK, I would say.
[00:09:58.990] - Dad (Guest)
Well, I mean, there were 35,000 people working in the tobacco industry when I was a boy. But the tobacco industry, although it's still based here, they make the cigarettes in Poland now. There are no cigarettes made in Bristol anymore. And all these huge factories all around Bristol, all gone. So all these industries were pretty impressive.
[00:10:23.970] - Oliver (Host)
OK.
[00:10:24.450] - Dad (Guest)
And at 15, I used to get 200 free cigarettes a week.
[00:10:28.320] - Oliver (Host)
Lucky you.
[00:10:29.350] - Dad (Guest)
Extraordinary. It's a wonder tobacconists existed.
[00:10:32.360] - Oliver (Host)
Well, I suppose it's a little bit like drug dealers, right? Where they say, The first one's on me, to get, to get you hooked.
[00:10:39.630] - Dad (Guest)
I don't know anything about that.
[00:10:42.390] - Oliver (Host)
You said that very quickly as if, you know.
[00:10:44.240] - Dad (Guest)
No, I really don't!
[00:10:45.980] - Oliver (Host)
Okay, so that was in the mid '50s. Then you had your first child actually quite young, right? You must have been early '20s.
[00:10:53.250] - Dad (Guest)
22, 23.
[00:10:54.750] - Oliver (Host)
I asked Mum in her podcast a question about her children. Do you mind if I ask you the same one?
[00:10:59.790] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:11:00.940] - Oliver (Host)
Which of your children do you love the most?
[00:11:06.070] - Dad (Guest)
I can't answer that. I don't know.
[00:11:09.080] - Oliver (Host)
It's not that you have a moral problem with saying, you just would have to think about it?
[00:11:13.920] - Dad (Guest)
If I were to be told one of your children is going to die, which one would it be? I couldn't answer that question.
[00:11:22.760] - Oliver (Host)
As in, which one would you choose?
[00:11:24.280] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:11:24.910] - Oliver (Host)
Okay. Well, fair enough.
[00:11:27.230] - Dad (Guest)
So that would be my answer.
[00:11:28.860] - Oliver (Host)
I feel reassured that there's seven of us, so I have a one in seven chance of dying and a six in seven chance of surviving. Although actually that's probably not true. I suppose some of the siblings have invested a lot of time in being very good to you, whereas I've probably been, you know, your least reliable child. So maybe I've got a much higher chance of being chosen.
[00:11:48.030] - Dad (Guest)
I think we're very blessed with the good fortune we've had with healthy children.
[00:11:54.340] - Oliver (Host)
Yes. So I know that my mum will hate this because she's lying on the sofa now nursing her knee. Tell me about how you met her.
[00:12:02.140] - Dad (Guest)
How did I meet your mother?
[00:12:04.780] - Oliver (Host)
She's waving her arm. She hates it. I mean, Mum, you shouldn't be listening to this because it makes it very difficult for me to have a free conversation. Since we're not allowed to talk about how you met Mum...
[00:12:14.050] - Dad (Guest)
Well, I'm, I mean, I'm perfectly happy to...I met her in a bar of a hotel.
[00:12:20.030] - Oliver (Host)
In which city?
[00:12:21.340] - Dad (Guest)
When I was staying in Glasgow.
[00:12:22.980] - Oliver (Host)
Okay. And what were you doing in Glasgow?
[00:12:25.150] - Dad (Guest)
Working. I travelled around the country, didn't I? With various shops.
[00:12:29.520] - Oliver (Host)
Okay. But this was before you had your own business?
[00:12:31.620] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:12:32.130] - Oliver (Host)
When you were working for someone else?
[00:12:33.450] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:12:34.740] - Oliver (Host)
And what did you think when you saw her?
[00:12:37.250] - Dad (Guest)
I thought she looked great.
[00:12:39.000] - Oliver (Host)
Who was she with?
[00:12:40.210] - Dad (Guest)
She was with a friend. That was the awkward thing in that I thought, "God, what am I going to do?" So I took them both for a meal.
[00:12:49.690] - Oliver (Host)
Oh, okay. You're sizing up your options.
[00:12:52.870] - Dad (Guest)
All the time during the meal, I'm thinking, how am I going to be able to speak to one of them in whom I'm interested without the other one being...It's a bit negative, isn't it? If I'm talking to two people and I'm only interested in one.
[00:13:06.170] - Oliver (Host)
Well, and you need to make a good impression on the one that you want to talk to as well, don't you?
[00:13:09.400] - Dad (Guest)
Well, perhaps I tried that.
[00:13:10.870] - Oliver (Host)
Well, what I mean but, you know, abandoning the other one isn't going to endear you...
[00:13:15.330] - Dad (Guest)
Well, I had to wait till the other one went to the cloak room.
[00:13:19.620] - Oliver (Host)
Okay.
[00:13:20.130] - Dad (Guest)
And then try and get the address.
[00:13:22.600] - Oliver (Host)
Because obviously this was back in...what year was this?
[00:13:24.750] - Dad (Guest)
This is before mobile phones, obviously. This is 1979, '80.
[00:13:29.460] - Oliver (Host)
So no emails, no mobile phones.
[00:13:31.310] - Dad (Guest)
Absolutely. And her travelling all the time. So to catch her at home on the telephone was going to be... I don't know how people communicated by phone in those days, because not everyone had a house phone. And how people met up and everything, it was really complicated!
[00:13:47.920] - Oliver (Host)
And presumably she was living with her parents at that point. Yeah. So you ring up and the mother or the father is like, "Well, who is this?"
[00:13:55.570] - Dad (Guest)
I can't remember the conversation I had with her mother. But the funny thing was I sent her some flowers.
[00:14:01.480] - Oliver (Host)
Okay. And, erm...
[00:14:02.580] - Oliver (Host)
And so did she just, did she just hand out her address to you?
[00:14:06.350] - Dad (Guest)
I don't know if she gave me her address. She certainly gave me her telephone number. So, I sent these flowers. I sent these flowers, and she was away travelling.
[00:14:19.830] - Oliver (Host)
She shouts that you sent a postcard.
[00:14:22.600] - Dad (Guest)
Oh, I sent a postcard. Okay, I forget that. But anyway, I sent these flowers (signed) "from Roger". Of course, her mother was thinking, of the other Roger, her lifelong friend who she's still in touch with almost on a daily basis, I think. She assumed - you know, her mother. This guy, who's a gay guy, it's strange thing to send her flowers.
[00:14:44.110] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, I suppose so.
[00:14:44.500] - Dad (Guest)
So there we are. We had some difficulty in meeting. Then finally, I met her in Birmingham.
[00:14:51.430] - Oliver (Host)
This was when she was a stewardess?
[00:14:54.030] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:14:54.530] - Oliver (Host)
So she was flying?
[00:14:55.170] - Dad (Guest)
She was flying around. You've got to remember, I had my kids at home, (who) I was looking after at home.
[00:15:01.860] - Oliver (Host)
You were a single parent at this point?
[00:15:03.340] - Dad (Guest)
I was. And trravelling around the country, and often, if she was flying into Manchester or Birmingham, I would meet her there.
[00:15:13.440] - Oliver (Host)
What did you like about her?
[00:15:16.080] - Dad (Guest)
I just thought she was beautiful.
[00:15:19.350] - Oliver (Host)
Good.
[00:15:20.750] - Dad (Guest)
I loved her accent.
[00:15:22.280] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, her Glaswegian (accent)...
[00:15:23.840] - Dad (Guest)
And of course, in uniform, I think girls in uniform are marvellous. I mean, her in her uniform was just, well, tremendous.
[00:15:31.760] - Oliver (Host)
It was a good uniform. You know, I've seen the photos, obviously. Yeah.
[00:15:34.640] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah. She was very sexy.
[00:15:37.950] - Oliver (Host)
Good. And what about her personality? What about her personality did you like?
[00:15:44.510] - Dad (Guest)
Her personality? Very much quite soft and gentle.
[00:15:53.980] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah.
[00:15:54.590] - Dad (Guest)
Unrecognisable now.
[00:15:56.050] - Oliver (Host)
You think that she-
[00:15:57.350] - Dad (Guest)
She's extraordinary, actually.
[00:15:58.510] - Oliver (Host)
She spun you a lie. Well, she's soft and gentle with me, mostly.
[00:16:01.760] - Dad (Guest)
Yes, that's because she loves you.
[00:16:03.670] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah.
[00:16:05.160] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah, so it's really quite interesting that, whether I misread it or whether I hardened her or whatever. Yes. When I look back, it was just extraordinary.
[00:16:18.900] - Oliver (Host)
But are there, were there early signs of the steel behind that soft exterior?
[00:16:24.540] - Dad (Guest)
She had... Yeah, she was a strong character.
[00:16:30.380] - Oliver (Host)
It probably wouldn't have been picked up by the microphones, but my mum has just shouted that she feels that she's dead listening to this, like a eulogy that someone says at a funeral. Although not a wholly positive one, right? Because he's saying that he was deluded in thinking that she was soft and kind, but in fact, she was this hard harpy.
[00:16:54.110] - Dad (Guest)
The question is whether I made her like that or whether she was concealing it. The answer to that, I'm not sure.
[00:17:01.360] - Oliver (Host)
And so you already had, at this point, three kids, and you ended up with an additional four. What differences do you see between the different groups of children that you've had?
[00:17:11.160] - Dad (Guest)
Well, it is difficult. There's a generational thing, isn't there? Because my eldest son is now 60.
[00:17:17.640] - Oliver (Host)
Exactly. Yeah. Just last week.
[00:17:20.290] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah. So, you know, those three were much older. I can remember when I was young, and having children for the first time, and I was saying to my friend who had been more restrained and didn't have children for several years, "Yeah, but by the time I'm 40, I'm going to be free of my children. I'll be able to live without children."
[00:17:43.500] - Oliver (Host)
What a misconception!
[00:17:45.880] - Dad (Guest)
I know. It's quite funny.
[00:17:48.230] - Oliver (Host)
But as I said earlier on, as long as I've known you, as long as I can remember, you've always talked about feeling that you're deaf, feeling that your mind is slowing down, feeling that you are getting older. And yet, César, for example, who has only met you in the last decade, is always saying that he thinks you're incredibly good for your age, incredibly fit, incredibly sharp. I think that we can see this in comparison to lots of other famous octogenarians in the world right now, that you are very quick. How much of that do you put down to the fact that when your peers who had children young had those children grow up, you were still having to argue with your teenage children every night at the dinner table? Did we keep you young?
[00:18:34.450] - Dad (Guest)
I don't know. As I said to you before, I look at myself in quite a detached way, and I do see failings and differences. Obviously, deafness is a real problem. I remember when we used to go to our local Chinese restaurant, which we all loved, and there may be a dozen people sitting around that circular table. And for me, it was a torment. And ever since then, I almost kind of opt out because I can't follow the conversation that's going on, the interchange. It's really very sad, actually. And I look back at my dad, and obviously my dad suffered from dementia. And I think one of the problems for him, he was more deaf than me, and he didn't have hearing aids. And he was excluded, not deliberately, from the conversation and became more and more detached from it.
[00:19:32.200] - Oliver (Host)
Well, because you just sit out, don't you? Which I am obviously- It's easier.
[00:19:35.630] - Dad (Guest)
I'm straining away to hear you, and it's difficult.
[00:19:40.500] - Oliver (Host)
Well, it's obviously much more traumatic if you're going deaf, but it's a little bit like learning a language, because when I first started learning Spanish, I could have a one-on-one conversation like you can with your deafness quite well. But if I was in a really big group, I couldn't, at the beginning, follow the conversation. So you don't want to interject in case you've misunderstood something. So you just sit back and become excluded.
[00:20:02.660] - Dad (Guest)
Or you missed something and you're saying something and they've already passed that topic on. That's one of the embarrassing things.
[00:20:09.450] - Oliver (Host)
Exactly. So then you feel like you're going to get judged by it. Yeah.
[00:20:12.840] - Dad (Guest)
You feel a bit stupid.
[00:20:14.670] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah. So it's obviously, as I say, it's not traumatic in the same way, but it is a bit like being a beginner in the language, really.
[00:20:24.860] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah. But certainly older people, when they become hard of hearing, they do lose touch with a lot of things going on in life. It's hard.
[00:20:35.500] - Oliver (Host)
But that's something else that's been good for you, I suppose, having children over the entirety of your life, because you might feel like you've always been a little bit disconnected from the fashions and things like that, but you will have known so much better than other men of your own age, things like the video games that we were interested in, things like Tamagotchis. Do you remember that?
[00:20:55.170] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah.
[00:20:55.470] - Oliver (Host)
Those kinds of things. Because you actually had children playing with them Whereas if you'd only have the first generation of children, it would have all-
[00:21:03.950] - Dad (Guest)
That's right. They missed the computerization.
[00:21:06.740] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, exactly. Whereas just think of how many times when you were working from home and we would do typing for you or do things on the computer for you, if you hadn't had those children, then you would be so much less computer literate than you are now. And you actually, you feel computer illiterate, but you actually know how to do a lot of things on your phone and things like that. Again, César says about Spanish people in their 80s that he knows don't have, like, the first clue a lot of the time.
[00:21:39.180] - Dad (Guest)
Yeah. Mind you, I'm only learning about things like podcasts from you.
[00:21:44.600] - Oliver (Host)
Well, look at that.
[00:21:46.010] - Dad (Guest)
I was talking to the minister when I left church today and I said,
[00:21:49.720] - Oliver (Host)
Oh, God.
[00:21:50.190] - Dad (Guest)
I've got to go home because I'm doing a podcast with my son. And he said, "Podcast? What the hell is that?"
[00:21:58.480] - Oliver (Host)
Well, that's dad-
[00:21:59.740] - Dad (Guest)
And he our Minister, and he's only about 60.
[00:22:02.340] - Oliver (Host)
As we say at the end of every episode, Dad, I hope that you shared the link with him, you know? So he can share it with all of his congregation.
[00:22:13.050] - Dad (Guest)
Well, the average age of the congregation is about 70.
[00:22:17.260] - Oliver (Host)
Well, still, every listener is a valued listener for the podcast, Dad. Well, being me, I'm going to go for a slightly different question. Dad, do you have any regrets?
[00:22:28.390] - Dad (Guest)
Do I have?
[00:22:29.000] - Oliver (Host)
Any regrets?
[00:22:30.710] - Dad (Guest)
A huge number.
[00:22:32.000] - Oliver (Host)
Tell me more.
[00:22:33.310] - Dad (Guest)
It's funny. Your mother's attitude to education is so much more useful than mine was. I mean, for my first children, growing up in the '60s and early '70s, life was so much more optimistic then. And I'm very depressed for kids now growing up thinking, "Oh, I'm never going to own a house" and things like this, being negative. Whereas when I was growing up in my 20s, you assumed that every year would be better than the year before. You really did believe that. And there is the excitement of getting cars and buying your first house, things like this. And educationally, you just felt that you didn't need to worry. I'd gone to university, but I thought I didn't need it because, you know, I was in retail. So needing to have my children highly educated wasn't important, and I was neglectful. And the consequence was that the first three children didn't enjoy the benefits of education that your mother ensured you three did. But, you know, I look at my first son. We were living in Hampton Court. We got him to stand for the local grammar school, Kingston Grammar, with no - we didn't encourage him in any way, we didn't coach him or get any coaching, and he passed for a free scholarship. And then that was transferred to Bristol Grammar School in Bristol when I moved to Bristol. So he was obviously very intelligent, and yet we never bothered to force him. And so he became very casual at school, not interested. And so I regret the way my three elder children didn't have the education that my younger children had.
[00:24:29.520] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah.
[00:24:30.110] - Dad (Guest)
And that's down to my respective wives, but also myself. Obviously, I was working, but I didn't try and encourage my older children to get a decent education. That's a major regret for me.
[00:24:48.080] - Oliver (Host)
And in your lifetime, what is the thing that you are proudest of? What are you proudest of in your lifetime?
[00:24:58.890] - Dad (Guest)
Apart from the successful lives of my children, nobody's ended up in jail or anything.
[00:25:06.710] - Oliver (Host)
So far.
[00:25:08.500] - Dad (Guest)
So, yeah. I suppose, to be honest, I am proud of the company I set up. You know, that from nothing, we built up a company of 1,500 staff. It sounds very shallow, as we used to say, to bring things into perspective at work. When discussing things, that didn't sell... I said, "We're not feeding the starving here, you know, we're selling dresses!" So I never did anything good for humanity, but I ensured that my family had a comfortable life. And we employed 1,500 people in mostly towns of deprivation. So I had, I have a pride in that.
[00:25:49.510] - Oliver (Host)
Yeah, of course. Okay. Well, Dad, thank you so much for talking to me today. There's still 30 seconds left, but we haven't had an argument yet. So that's quite good for us.
[00:26:02.080] - Dad (Guest)
You're probably going to tell me that everything I said is indecipherable and nobody's going to understand my accent.
[00:26:07.280] - Oliver (Host)
Well, César says your accent is very clear. I'll have to wait until after I finish the recording to hear if it's decipherable. But regardless, thank you very much for talking to me today.
[00:26:19.610] - Dad (Guest)
Thank you, Oliver.
[00:26:22.240] - Oliver (Host)
Thank you very much for listening to this episode, listener. As I said, I think it was a particularly challenging one. So, if you've got to the end here, well done. I suggest maybe having another listen with the transcript, if there are any phrases or words you didn't quite catch. And I look forward to having you back next week.
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