NEW - Quizlet Flashcards: click here for link to vocabulary cards from this episode
[00:00:00.690] - Oliver (Host)
Hi, my name is Oliver, and I am an English teacher. Welcome to English and Beyond: Intermediate English Podcast, a podcast designed to help you learn English by listening to engaging content adapted for intermediate-level students. In addition to listening to the podcast, you can also read the full transcript for free on the website www.morethanalanguage.com.
[00:00:30.300] - Oliver (Host)
I highly recommend subscribing. Just click the subscribe button on your podcast platform. This way, you'll be notified whenever a new episode is available. As many of you already know, this is the third podcast that I make alongside César, my partner, and often co-host. Ironically, though, I am not that much of an avid podcast listener. César, however, does spend a great deal of time listening to podcasts, and he particularly enjoys podcasts about languages, linguistics, health, personal development, and psychology. One of his favourite discoveries ever is an English language podcast called How to Fail. To fail at something means not achieving the goals we had set for ourselves. For instance, not passing an exam would be considered a type of failure. The opposite of failure is success. We succeed when we accomplish our objectives. This podcast, How to Fail, is hosted by Elizabeth Day, a British journalist and novelist.
[00:01:47.670] - Oliver (Host)
In each episode, she has in-depth conversations with people who, on the surface, seem highly successful. Figures from entertainment, politics, sports, and in other fields. However, instead of focusing on their achievements, they discuss the failures that they've experienced throughout their lives. The goal of these conversations is to demonstrate that failure can actually be a stepping milestone to future success. There is an episode of this podcast featuring Alain de Botton. I apologise again for picturing his name. Ironically, he's actually British, although he's got a Swiss name. He's a philosopher and founder of the School of Life. If you're interested in psychology, I highly recommend checking out the School of Life YouTube channel as they discuss a wide range of thought-provoking topics relevant to many people. I can't remember if César or I discovered this channel first, but we have certainly exchanged many, many videos. The specific themes often seem to be recommended to us at exactly the right time.
[00:03:00.010] - Oliver (Host)
This particular episode of How to Fail is really fascinating, and one that particularly resonated with César. That's why we've decided to incorporate some of the insights and conclusions from that episode into today's podcast. We have adapted the language to suit an intermediate level, and we hope that you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed the original conversation.
[00:03:25.890] - Oliver (Host)
But before diving into the topic of failure, the author touches on a fundamental concept, the feeling of insufficiency. In modern society, many of us feel inadequate or as though we are not living up to expectations. We are constantly told that we can achieve anything, but the reality is that most people lead quite ordinary lives. There is a widespread idea that being average is something negative. However, statistically speaking, it is obviously far more common to have a normal life than an extraordinary one. This sense of not being enough is often linked to mental health issues such as anxiety. Interestingly, this feeling of inadequacy has not always existed. The belief that everything can and should be improved and that people should strive for perfection is actually a relatively recent concept. If we look back at ancient Greek, for example, life was often viewed through a tragic lens. That is, through the point of view that both our successes and failures were seen as being outside our control as human beings. Individuals were at the mercy of fate or of the gods. There was nothing that they could do to prevent their destiny, the things that were destined to happen to them.
[00:04:55.300] - Oliver (Host)
Furthermore, the gods actually occasionally actively intervened to punish mortals, i.e. us human beings, that became too good at any skill and therefore threatened the delicate self-esteem of the gods. Is there any point striving for self-improvement if your destiny is ultimately out of your control and instead up to fate or petty childlike gods?
[00:05:24.840] - Oliver (Host)
Modern religions perhaps reinforce this idea as well. Buddhism teaches that human beings are inherently imperfect, while Christianity goes even further, with some interpretations finding that striving for perfection is even considered a sin, because perfection should be an attribute reserved exclusively for God.
[00:05:49.140] - Oliver (Host)
The author identifies three key perspectives on failure. Number 1: you can be highly skilled and still fail. In ancient Greece, theatrical plays often depicted important and successful individuals who lost everything, failing spectacularly and sometimes even dying. These were the famous Greek tragedies. But why were these stories so popular? Because they had a cathartic effect on the audience. Cathartic means cleansing or purification. Watching someone else's failure helped people develop empathy, but it also made them process their own struggles by seeing someone else destroy their life so utterly and so completely. The audience was encouraged to feel compassion for the unfortunate protagonist, even if the protagonist's own flaws brought about their downfall.
[00:06:43.980] - Oliver (Host)
However, In these plays, failure was attributed to the will of the gods as well as personal mistakes. But there was a sense that no matter what the characters did, ultimately, they had no real control over their fate. In contrast, today's world is really far more unforgiving of failure. We now tend to believe that both success and failure are entirely dependent on personal effort, while external factors like luck or circumstances are often overlooked. This places all the burden of personal responsibility on us as people. In ancient Rome, the goddess Fortuna represented luck, and people believe that their lives were only partially within their control. Today, however, we struggle to show empathy when someone fails because we tend to assume that they are responsible for their own misfortune. In a way, this may be a form of self-protection. If we believe that bad people experience bad things, then hopefully we will live happily if we make sure that we live as a good person. The alternative to this could otherwise be very troubling. In a largely secular world, many people no longer believe in divine intervention. Without an external force guiding our lives, we are left to grapple with the unsettling idea that everything depends on us or that it's simply just good or bad luck.
[00:08:19.240] - Oliver (Host)
Does this second idea, this latter idea, therefore mean life is just a series of random events beyond our control? According to Alain de Botton, life is neither entirely random nor entirely within our control. We make decisions, but external factors also play a role in determining our paths. The podcast host also raises an important question. When should we give up on our goals and accept that we have failed? We're often taught that we must persevere at all costs, that giving up is a sign of weakness, and that success only comes through relentless effort. However, before answering this question, we must first define success and failure. They are often two sides of the same coin. For instance, someone who dedicates their entire life to their career might achieve professional success, but at the cost of their personal relationships. Should we consider that a success or a failure? Life is a constant balancing act requiring us to decide where to focus our energy. Or perhaps the thing that we excel at is not something that society values highly. But success can be found in many areas. Kindness, generosity, friendship, and integrity are all forms of success, even if they don't usually bring much external recognition. Ambition does not have to mean starting a company or becoming rich. There are many different ways to lead a meaningful and fulfilling and therefore successful life.
[00:10:01.910] - Oliver (Host)
Number two: romantic breakups are not a failure. We often assume that if a relationship ends, it must have been a failure. However, relationships do not necessarily fail they sometimes simply run their course. Each relationship, even if it does not last forever, teaches us valuable lessons. Many people torment themselves, torture themselves over having wasted years in a relationship, but they fail to recognise the personal growth, the self-improvement that came from that experience. The podcast host also discusses how difficult it can be when a partner leaves for seemingly unjust, unfair reasons or immediately moves on with someone else. At this point, the philosopher introduces the concept of envy. We tend to assume that other people's lives are far better than they actually are, especially when it comes to celebrities or wealthy individuals. However, we are all human. We are all made from the same material. The problem is that we only have access to our own thoughts results, which make us feel isolated and different. But in reality, everyone else is also editing their public image to appear happier and more successful than they truly are.
[00:11:27.930] - Oliver (Host)
The reality is that we are doing that ourselves too, sometimes without even being conscious of it. We need to stop torturing ourselves with idealised versions of other people's lives. The truth is, most lives follow a similar pattern, ups and downs, highs and lows, you never really know what other people are really thinking, and they don't know the same about you. And your seemingly happy life is probably causing someone else torment through their own envy even if that seems unbelievable or implausible to you.
[00:12:05.700] - Oliver (Host)
Number three: failure is the norm, but education ignores it. If we look at statistics, we see that by definition, the most likely outcome for the majority of people is to have an average salary, an average level of happiness, and to experience at least one divorce, and to live between 70 and 80 years. Most of us will not lead extraordinary lives. The philosopher compares two societies, Switzerland and the United States. According to him, Switzerland is designed for stability. Everything, schools, healthcare, transport is good enough. In contrast, the USA has a stark divide between excellent and terrible schools and services. Which society is better? This is ultimately a matter of opinion.
[00:12:59.970] - Oliver (Host)
Opinion, but perhaps one where everything is at least good enough, even if nothing is spectacular. Many people could accept that conclusion about societies, but they find it hard to apply the same principle to their own life without feeling like a relative failure. Many people believe nowadays that resilience, the ability to withstand challenges, should be taught in schools. After all, although history is written by the winners, we could learn just as much if not more, from the failure of the losers. However, in English schools, at least, resilience is actually taught. But from my own experience of teaching these lessons, it's not taught very successfully. I think a major part of the reason for that is that sometimes we just need to live these experiences, these successes, these failures ourselves. There's a reason why societies throughout history have the wisdom of older generations who have lived lives full of ups and downs. I think that ultimately, real resilience, that is, picking yourself up again after failing spectacularly, could only really come from living failure yourself. But if you can learn from the errors of someone older and wiser than you, that's obviously ideal.
[00:14:24.920] - Oliver (Host)
I hope you enjoyed this episode. I found it at least a little bit insightful. I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions for future episodes. You can contact me at oliver@morethanalanguage.com or on Instagram, where you can find us by searching for BritishEnglishandBeyond. A big hug, and I'll see you next Monday.
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